Let's talk about something that hurts us as women: our obsession with appearance. It is so insidious that when someone beautiful is cheated on, we can't understand it. We wonder how it could happen to her. We completely bypass the fact that cheating reflects solely on the cheater's character and has nothing to do with the partner’s looks!
We are bombarded with messages that tell us we're not good enough. Maybe we inherited our mothers' body image struggles or absorbed opinions from social media. We are made to feel like we need to be a certain size or have perfect features to be worthy. Here's the thing: placing emphasis on appearance takes energy away from what really matters and I don’t see men wasting precious time and energy agonizing over their outfits or picking apart each other's bodies! Imagine the energy we could free up if we stopped obsessing over looks. People are drawn to our energy, not the size of our jeans. It's the things we do and how we make people feel that leave a lasting impression. Our worth has absolutely nothing to do with our looks! Why would it? Comparisons Do you ever find yourself in that state of mind where your body just doesn't feel good enough, and you're comparing yourself to other women? We’ve all been there. The truth is, we're not even comparing ourselves to the ‘right’ people. The majority of women we see in the media and on TV have small body frames and the ability to spend a large percentage of their time maintaining their appearance! I had an epiphany as a teenager: the women in real life look different from the women in magazines, and these ‘imperfect’ beings around me had loving partners and happy lives regardless of not looking like supermodels. Fancy that! It took a while, but I've come to the point where I don't really care what I look like - I care a lot more about my health. My husband is attracted to me, and I’m not interested in what other men think. As for women: if they want to judge my body, that says more about how they have been taught to treat themselves and other women than it does about me! Here's the thing: you're amazing just as you are, and your body deserves to be celebrated, not punished for not being something else. Negative Self-Talk The more that criticizing voice inside your head talks, the bigger the urge to comfort yourself with food! Negative self-talk can also zap your energy in general and make you less motivated to exercise. One way to mute it is to shift focus to the things you do right, and the progress you're making. For example, if you're able to plan your meals or check if you’re thirsty rather than hungry, then you're making progress! Celebrate these wins because they will ultimately lead to reaching your weight loss goals. If you only focus on the scale, you're missing out on the opportunity to support yourself in making the changes you need. Celebrate mistakes too because they show you what not to do and thus, get you further toward your goal! Something I've learned in recent years is that if I want to change behaviors, I MUST find something positive about what I've achieved so far, however small. I’ve been challenged lately with having to completely change my diet because I'm now sensitive to a whole bunch of foods. To prevent this from being an overwhelming project, I've had to change things one step at a time, keep track of the changes I make, and celebrate every little step. Punishing Workouts Using exercise as some sort of punishment for eating wrong is just another way to treat yourself like you are not good enough. We’re constantly being told about calorie burning and pushing our limits, but what if that's not the right way to go? Think about it: our bodies are incredible. They carry us through everything we want or need to do, and they deserve appreciation, not punishment for the occasional pizza slice. I'm careful with my workouts. That doesn't mean I don't work out hard, and it doesn't mean I ignore what I need to work on or avoid things I don't like. However, I don't ignore my body’s signals; I don't push through pain. If something doesn't work for me, I alter it or cut it out. I have no desire to treat exercise as some kind of warped self-harm activity! Workouts can be a way to show our bodies love when we choose exercises that help us handle stress, age comfortably, and actually promote well-being. It is possible to ditch the "go hard or go home" mentality and use exercise as a way to tune into your body. This is where good exercise comes in – not the kind that leaves you drained. Let’s say goodbye to the exhausting cycle of comparison, negative self-talk and punishing workouts. It’s time to prioritize our health, our comfort and our self esteem. You are worthy just as you are 💚 Would you like to work out in a way that focuses on building a you that you love, that makes you feel strong, confident, and awesome instead of critical of yourself? Book a free consultation or free workout. |
Clara Depont is a certified personal trainer at www.claradepont.com. When she’s not helping women get toned, strong, and flexible through effective and unique workouts, she’s traveling in search of the perfect forest or vista. You can get to know her best through her Weekly Emails, Instagram or Facebook. She is British and lives in New Mexico.
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June 2024
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